


Midnight confessions

by maanorchidee



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Anxiety, Denial of Feelings, Falling In Love, I'm Sorry, Jack Zimmermann Knew First, Jack Zimmermann's Overdose, M/M, Minor Larissa "Lardo" Duan/Shitty Knight, Recreational Drug Use, Retelling, Slow Burn, overdose mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-08
Updated: 2018-02-08
Packaged: 2019-03-15 14:58:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13615794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maanorchidee/pseuds/maanorchidee
Summary: Jack is used to thoughts late at night. He just doesn’t know why they’re mostly about Bitty.





	Midnight confessions

**Author's Note:**

> Well, well, well. 
> 
> Welcome to this fic. It is very Jack centered and it is basically a Year 2 retelling where he figures out he loves Bitty way before graduation, but he is kind of not good with feelings, so he is conflicted.
> 
> The reason it is a retelling instead of a POV change is because I unintentionally skipped the Parse chapters, and I didn’t know how to put it back in the story. Maybe I will make an extra Parse chapter, but that will be an AU of an AU. (Johnson: "Woaaaah!")
> 
> Anyway, are you ready for a Canadian angsty hockey Zuko?

When Jack was younger, there were a lot of sleepless nights. His mind was too full of thought to sleep. Since they were mostly negative, his parents would stay in his room with him in order to help him fall asleep.

Sometimes, he’d talk to his parents. Jack didn’t have that many secrets back then, but there were secrets, and he had the tendency to tell them to his parents in the middle of the night. They were about his fear of mediocrity or his fear of the future. Sometimes, there were positive revelations, but mostly they were negative. His mother called them midnight confessions.

After a couple of years, Jack would find out that those haunting thoughts and those sleepless nights were caused by his anxiety disorder, but that didn’t stop the midnight confessions. Sometimes he shared his thoughts with his parents, sometimes with Kent, but most of the time he had no one to talk to, so he shared them with himself.

By the time that Jack enrolled Samwell, the midnight confessions were mostly gone. After his overdose and his break, he no longer confessed things to himself in the middle of the night, but he talked to a therapist.

But the midnight confessions were never gone completely.

* * *

“Dude, he is totally cool for you!” Ransom says loudly, causing students to look. It isn’t Team Breakfast without the team disrupting the peace.

“I mean, we wouldn’t let you go to Winter Screw with some rando, right?” Holster says.

“I guess,” Bitty shrugs, but he doesn’t seem at ease yet.

“Lay off the poor guy,” Lardo rolls her eyes, “Winter Screw is still weeks away.”

Jack sits down and he watches Ransom and Holster talk excitedly to Bitty. “What is going on?” he asks.

“They’ve found a Winter Screw date for Bits,” Shitty answers, “And they’re trying to convince Bitty that they’re meant to be.”

“That’s because they are!” Holster exclaims, “Jack, dude, you know Edgar Morse, right?”

Jack does know Edgar. He’s another history major and he’s the captain of the football team. Since he and Jack are both captains of sport teams at Samwell they’ve exchanged a few words every now and then and Edgar is nice.

Wait a second.

“Edgar’s gay?” Jack asks.

“Yeah, you didn’t know?” Ransom asks, “He came out a couple of weeks ago and the Swallow covered it. I can’t say it was an interesting read, because, ya know, it’s the fucking Swallow, but he’s definitely super gay.”

“Oh.”

Jack stares at his plate. Edgar really is nice, but Jack wonders if he’s good for Bitty. Edgar is so different from him.

“Brah?” Shitty elbows him.

Jack looks up and he sees that all the others are looking at him. “What?”

“You just completely zoned out, dude,” Shitty says, frowning a little bit, “Forgive me for asking this, because I know you’re a good guy, but is there’s something wrong with Edgar being gay?”

Jack’s eyes widen. “Oh no! I- No! I just… I was thinking about him and Bitty and I don’t know.”

“Are you saying I shouldn’t go to Winter Screw with him?” Bitty asks, looking a bit skeptical.

All eyes are still on Jack. “Uhm, just do what feels right,” he says and he’s very grateful when Chowder sits down and starts talking with him about him possibly playing for the Sharks.

* * *

“Zimmermann, yo!”

Someone pats him on the back and Jack stops walking. “Edgar, hi.”

“So, this teammate of yours… Eric Bittle? He’s single?” Edgar asks nonchalantly, but he’s clearly fishing for answers. Jack can’t really explain why, but he doesn’t like that.

“Why?” Jack asks. He must’ve sounded stern, because Edgar backs away and he mockingly holds up his hands.

“Chill, I just want to know if I can ask him out? I wanted to know for sure if he’s single and you know, we share some classes, so I thought I’d ask you,” he says happily, “I heard your D-men are trying to set us up. So, is he single?”

Jack doesn’t smile back. Instead he just clenches his fist and he feels very angry out of nowhere.

“I don’t know,” Jack says harshly, “Ask him.” Then he walks away.

It’s a lie. Bitty’s been moping about his single life for a while now, but for whatever reason, Jack can’t bring himself to tell Edgar.

He walks back to the Haus, trying to cool off, but it doesn’t work. He opens the front door and he’s not surprised to see Bitty in the kitchen.

“What is up with you?” Bitty asks the moment he sees the tense look on Jack’s face.

“Don’t go out with Edgar Morse,” is all Jack says. Then he turns around and he goes upstairs to his room.

* * *

The next day, Ransom and Holster basically hurl Jack out of the library. They drag him across campus.

“Merde, guys, I was studying,” Jack yells, but Ransom and Holster don’t stop. Jack looks like a mess and he didn’t even have time to close his bag because Ransom and Holster didn’t give him the time.

“Dude, what did you say about Edgar?” Ransom asks, “Bitty told us you told him he’s bad news!”

“Not cool, Jack. Edgar’s a modest bro.”

“I didn’t tell him Edgar’s bad news. I just told him not to go out with him,” Jack says back, “There’s a difference. Now let go of me.”

They do and Jack mumbles a small thank you.

“But why?” Holster asks, “Do you know something that we don’t know? Is he an ass?”

Jack opens his mouth to answer, but he can’t. “I…”

Ransom and Holster look at him expectantly.

But Jack has nothing to say. Even though Jack doesn’t know Edgar that well, he doesn’t have anything to say about him. He’s nice and he’s modest about his football team. He certainly likes history and he’s good-looking.

But the thought of him being Bitty’s Winter Screw date, or the thought of him dating Bitty in general, makes Jack feel sick.

“I forgot my laptop in the library,” Jack says instead, “I need to get it before someone steals it. My thesis draft is on it.”

Ransom and Holster exchange a look. “Jack, your laptop is-“

“In the library,” Jack cuts Holster off, “I need to get it.” This lie is even worse than the one time Bitty told the guys that he left a pie baking in the library, since you can see his laptop in Jack’s half-open bag, but Jack runs off towards the library before Ransom and Holster can stop him.

* * *

Bitty and Edgar Morse go to Winter Screw together. Jack doesn’t like it, but he plasters a smile on his face every time Bitty mentions him.

Why is he bothered by this? Bitty is an adult and he can make his own decisions and Edgar is nice. Jack goes to Winter Screw as well, going stag with Shitty, who’s still hung up on Lardo, and Nursey and Dex.

He watches Bitty and Edgar talk to some football players.

Jack doesn’t enjoy himself. Usually he does like Winter Screw since these Winter Screws aren’t as wild as Kegsters at the Haus, but every time he sees Edgar and Bitty, he doesn’t feel good.

So after only an hour and a half, Jack tells the others that he’s leaving.

“Jack, this is your last Winter Screw,” Shitty says, “You can’t do that.”

“Yes, I can. Watch me.” Jack turns around and he walks away from the others.

* * *

Jack can’t sleep. Just the possibility that Bitty likes Edgar keeps him up till after midnight. Hell, some of the others have already gotten back to the Haus. He can still hear Shitty sing downstairs.

Jack is so tired and he wants to sleep, but he just can’t. He imagines Bitty and Edgar dancing and laughing. He should be overjoyed that Bitty has found someone, but he can’t.

Bitty.

And Edgar.

Dating.

Jack buries his head in his pillow and he remembers Bitty’s smile during Winter Screw. Why does Edgar have to be the one to make Bitty smile like that?

Jack can hear footsteps. Then they stop in front of his door and Bitty’s door opens. Bitty must be home. There’s not second set of footsteps.

Bitty came home alone.

And finally, Jack feels a little bit better.

* * *

Jack doesn’t go to Team Breakfast. Instead he stays at the Haus. He eats some cereal and he goes for a run. When he gets back, he expects the Haus to be empty, but he was wrong. Jack opens the Haus door and Bitty is descending the staircase.

He stops when he sees Jack. “Oh, Jack, aren’t you supposed to be at Team Breakfast?” Bitty asks and he blushes.

“Aren’t you?” Jack asks.

“No, I slept in,” Bitty walks past him towards the kitchen, “And now I am starving.”

Jack takes off his shoes and he follows Bitty. He sits down and he clears his throat. “So, how was Winter Screw?”

“Good,” Bitty says shortly.

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

There’s an awkward silence. “So.”

“So,” Bitty says back, “Uhm, I heard you left. I was looking for you, but Dex told me you’d gone back to the Haus.”

“I didn’t feel well,” Jack says, “And you were looking for me?”

“Well, yeah. It was our last Winter Screw as a team, of course I was looking for you,” Bitty says, “But you’re feeling better now?”

_I felt better the moment I realized Edgar didn’t go home with you._ “Yeah.”

“Well, I’m still going to make pancakes for you,” Bitty says, “I mean, you cannot live of protein bars and cereal!”

“It is nutritious!”

“So are pancakes!” Bitty says and he laughs, “Will I ever stop you from your protein bar obsession?”

“I can’t say it’s an obsession,” Jack says teasingly and Bitty rolls his eyes.

“Yes, I know I need to eat more protein,” Bitty says and that has become their inside joke.

The awkwardness quickly dies away and Bitty and Jack are talking about the upcoming games and about finals and everything. Jack asks if he can help, but Bitty assures him he doesn’t need help so Jack sets the table for two and he’s happy the others are at Team Breakfast.

Bitty’s phone beeps, but he ignores it. A couple of minutes later, they’re eating delicious pancakes and they’re talking with ease. Bitty’s phone beeps again and Bitty sighs. He pulls out his phone and he frowns.

“What is wrong?” Jack asks. He doesn’t like the look on Bitty’s face. He much rather sees Bitty happy.

“Just Edgar messaging me,” Bitty says and Jack drops his fork.

“Oh?” Jack tries to keep his expression neutral, “You, uh, you don’t see happy about it.”

Bitty locks his phone and puts it away. He shakes his head.

“Bittle, is everything okay?” Jack asks again.

Bitty sighs. “Edgar is nice and we had fun last night, but when he walked me back to the Haus, he… Well, I was afraid he was going to kiss me. So I quickly said goodnight and I basically ran towards the Haus door. I probably made a fool out of myself and I guess I ended the amazing night on an awkward note, but I couldn’t stay there.”

“Why?” Jack blurts out and Bitty turns away. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” he quickly adds.

“I didn’t want to kiss him,” Bitty says.

Jack gestures to him to go on.

“Don’t get me wrong, Jack, he is a great guy, but there wasn’t a spark. Or at least, I didn’t think there was a spark. We had fun and I can see us being friends, but I don’t have feelings for him and I know that I won’t get feelings for him.”

Jack wants to pick up his fork, but then he realizes he’s trembling a little bit. Bitty doesn’t seem to notice, so Jack forces himself to ask: “How do you know that you won’t fall for him?”

Bitty blushes again.

“Like I said, you don’t have to tell me.”

“I am pretty sure I like another man, and the things that I feel for that one- I don’t feel that for Edgar,” Bitty says, “When I am with Edgar, I don’t feel like I’m in a state of bliss. I don’t feel a small stab of jealousy when Edgar talks to someone else. I don’t feel like crying when I have the feeling Edgar doesn’t notice me. I don’t want him to kiss me. I don’t wish for Edgar to take me to Annie’s or to Jerry’s. I don’t like him like that and I don’t think I will.”

“Who?” Jack asks.  _Who is it and do I know him?_

Bitty shakes his head. “I’d like to keep him to myself, please.”

Jack wants to ask more. He wants Bitty to tell him, but he nods. “Of course.”

Bitty’s phone beeps again and the two of them glare at it as if Bitty’s phone has personally offended them. “Gosh, I must tell him,” Bitty says, “It’s not fair to him to keep this from him. This feels like a break-up and we’re not even dating.”

Bitty picks up his phone, but Jack takes his hand to stop him. “Not now.”

Bitty sighs. “Not now,” he says as well and he puts his phone on silent.

“Right now, enjoy these amazing pancakes and talk to me, okay?”

“Oh, that won’t be a problem.”

* * *

Jack doesn’t have the time to figure out the identity of Bitty’s crush, because he has a hockey team to lead. They jokingly call him the hockey robot for a reason. The moment Jack is on the ice, he’s completely focused on hockey. Shitty calls it one of his ‘modes’.

Besides, why should he try and figure out the identity of Bitty’s crush? Jack’s told himself that he wants to make sure it is a good guy, nothing more, but he also knows it is none of his business. So Jack buries himself in hockey and school and he is fine.

When he isn’t busy with schoolwork or hockey, he hangs out with his friends or he talks about possible NHL teams.

Only at night, when he has nothing else to focus on, he does think about Bitty. This mystery man has to be absolutely perfect for Bitty. He has to make him smile. He has to make him happy. He has to kiss him goodnight and he has to bake with him. Bitty deserves someone perfect.

The more Jack thinks about someone being perfect for Bitty, the weirder he feels. Of course Bitty needs someone who’s good for him, since Jack wants his friend to be happy, so why is the thought of Bitty actually being with someone so unsettling?

The next day, he tells Shitty so when they’re sitting at the pond.

“Yeah man, I agree,” Shitty says, “Bits needs someone who is great and caring and shit. You’ve told me, like, a zillion times.”

“Well, can you blame me?” Jack says, “I want Bittle to be happy. I want all of my friends to be happy, so that is why you need to ask Lardo out.”

“Oh, fuck me,” Shitty says, “Is this all just one big scheme to tell me once again that I need to be with Lardo?”

“You two have been hanging out a lot,” Jack says and he smiles crookedly, “You are always at her gallery. Is there something you want to tell me?”

Jack doesn’t get an answer. Instead, Shitty throws a handful of leaves towards Jack.

“Okay, okay, no more teasing,” Jack says.

“Yeah, right,” Shitty rolls his eyes, “You will be the death of me, Jack. Anyway if something happens between me and Lards, you know I will tell you right away. Speaking of that, what are you not telling me?”

“Huh?”

“Tell me, Jack, what is going on between you and Eric Richard Bittle?” Shitty says. He isn’t joking.

“What do you mean?” Jack asks, genuinely confused.

“Just like I said it. You have been acting a bit weird. Ever since the whole Edgar Morse thing, you’ve been talking about Bitty’s love life. Man, the other day when the guy from the rugby team took Bitty to Annie’s, it looked like you were ready to kill.”

“Because I didn’t like them together,” Jack says.

Shitty snorts. “No kidding. But why? Jack, I know you care about Bitty, but he’s an adult and he doesn’t need your stamp of approval. Is there something you’re not telling me?”

“No.”

“Jack.”

“Really, no. There’s nothing to tell.”

“Right…” Shitty doesn’t sound convinced and he dramatically rolls his eyes, “Just know that you can talk to me about whatever you’re feeling. You’re my best bro.”

“Shits, what on Earth are you talking about?” Jack asks. He’s looking at Shitty and he knows he must look confused. Shitty’s eyes widen.

“Oh, shit. I just assumed…” Shitty looks embarrassed, “You really don’t know what I’m talking about.”

Jack raises an eyebrow. “Assumed what?”

“Brah, I’m sorry. I thought that maybe you were acting this way out of jealousy,” Shitty tells him, “Like, you dislike every possible guy for Bitty and I thought that maybe, just maybe, you wanted to be Bitty’s guy.”

Suddenly, Jack can’t breathe. Jack, being jealous of the possible boyfriends of Bitty? Jack, wanting to be Bitty’s guy? It’s…

Fuck.

“Dude, sorry if I totally misjudged you,” Shitty continues, “I didn’t mean to imply anything, it just looked a whole lot like jealousy to me and- Jack. Jack, are you- oh shit!”

Jack is trembling, but he still manages to get up. “I gotta go.”

He tries to leave, but Shitty is grabbing his arm. “Dude, this- this is not good. Jack, you’re trembling and your breath has gone weird and-”

But Jack breaks free. “I gotta go,” he says again and he runs away before Shitty has the chance to stop him. Jack runs past Founder’s and all the way back to the Haus and he slams the door of the Haus open.

“Dude,” Lardo yells in shock, but he ignores her. He casts one look towards the kitchen where he can see Bitty and Dex talking and then he quickly goes upstairs to his room.

He sits behind his desk and without thinking he opens his laptop and he continues working on his thesis. It is not his ideal way of handling his anxiety, but he feels that it isn’t a big attack and he just needs to take his mind off of things. He doesn’t want to think about anything, so he does what he always does. He works. A few hours pass and Jack’s made a lot of progress and he’s read at least five new scientific papers on Anglo-Saxon warfare. His thesis isn’t even about that time period, but he finds it interesting and he might be able to connect it to his actual theme.

After a while, the door slowly opens.

“Jack?”

“I’m working, Shits,” he says without looking away from the screen.

Shitty always sees Jack’s room as his second room, so he gets in and he closes the door behind him. Jack knows it’s no use to tell him to go away. Shitty walks towards him and he whistles when he sees that Jack’s browser has more than twenty tabs about history open.

“Yes, m’dude, you are definitely working.”

“Is there anything you need?” Jack sighs in annoyance and he keeps typing.

“Jack, about what happened at the pond… I didn’t mean to offend you or anything,” Shitty says.

Jack finally stops typing and he sighs. “You didn’t.”

“Oh, good, because I was about to ask you what possibly could’ve offended you,” Shitty says, sounding a little bit more cheerful now, but if you listen carefully you can still hear some kind of uncertainty.

“You just made a false assumption,” Jack tells him, “It happens.”

“False. Of course,” Shitty says too cheerfully.

“Now, do you mind?” Jack gestures towards his thesis, “You can stay if you want to, but I’m kind of busy.”

“Nah, I’ll just go downstairs. Hopefully, Dex hasn’t ruined the kitchen,” Shitty salutes Jack and he quickly leaves the room. Now, Jack can continue his work.

A couple of more hours pass and this is probably one of the most productive days ever. Jack is still far from finished, but he’s made a lot of progress. Sure, he’s only eaten snacks in these past few hours, but he’ll manage. Of course, this work-stimulated bliss can’t go on forever.

By now, he’s gotten used to the late nights. Jack doesn’t like them, because he likes to wake up early to go out for a run, but after weeks of his sleep schedule being weird, he’s accepted it.

_Brah, I’m sorry. I thought that maybe you were acting this way out of jealousy_

Jealousy.

Jack hates how much it makes sense. How else can he explain the unsettling feelings and the weird need to make Bitty happy? He can’t say that it’s because Bitty’s his friend. Jack also cares a lot about the others, but he doesn’t feel upset when they show any interest in someone.

But.

But…

_Like, you dislike every possible guy for Bitty and I thought that maybe, just maybe, you wanted to be Bitty’s guy._

Jack doesn’t know what to think about this. Yes, now that he’s been hanging out with Bitty outside the rink, he’s seen a different side of him. Jack likes listening to Bitty talk about their projects for their Women, Food, & American Culture class. It was really nice to bake that pie together. Jack likes taking Bitty to Annie’s and talking with him about photography. Even on the ice, the two have been hitting it off. They play on the same line more often during practice and they are amazing together. Jack almost prefers playing with Bitty over playing with anyone else. Being with Bitty makes Jack feel happy. It makes him happy like hockey makes his happy.

Oh.

Oh no.

Jack can already hear Shitty saying: “Jealousy, thy name is Zimmermann.”

Oh no oh no oh no oh no.

Jack tries to stop this feeling from happening. This can’t be happening. What if it really was jealousy? What if Shitty is right?

Jack’s afraid Shitty’s been right all along.

He thinks back at all the moments he felt this feeling of protectiveness. Every time Bitty mentioned his love life, every time Bitty got asked out, every time Bitty showed any interest in someone who wasn’t Jack. Maybe it wasn’t protectiveness after all.

Oh no.

Jack turns around on his side and he sees the time on his alarm clock.

Midnight.

It’s been a while since Jack’s made a midnight confession to anyone, including himself, now that he has others to talk to. But he doesn’t know who to talk to with this. The confession is on the tip of his tongue and he wants to stop it and keep pretending that this isn’t happening.

But he can’t.

0:01. Not exactly midnight anymore, but he still makes a midnight confession to himself.

“I’m in love with Eric Bittle,” he says, before falling in sleep. ****

* * *

The alarm wakes Jack and he immediately knows something is very wrong. The beeps from his alarm clock are too loud and it hurts. It feels like something is pushing on his chest as if it is trying to collapse his lungs and it doesn’t take long for Jack to figure out what is going on.

The alarm clock is still making too much noise and Jack tries to snooze it, but he doesn’t feel good and instead of snoozing his alarm clock, he accidentally shoves it off his nightstand and it lands on the ground. The beeps stop, just like Jack’s breathing.

Jack tries to remember how to breathe, but he just feels numbs. He closes his eyes and he tries to concentrate, but it doesn’t work. It feels as if the bed underneath his has disappeared and for a second, Jack thought it felt like floating before it felt like falling.

He tries to move and he tries to hold on to something to keep him from falling, but the panic rises because Jack just wants to stop falling goddamnit and he knows that he isn’t actually in a bottomless pit falling to his death, but he can’t stop panicking and he’s wheezing and-

Suddenly, someone grabs his hand.

“Brah, it’s okay. I’m here.”

“Sh-shits?”

“Yes, you big fucking moose?” Shitty says.

Jack is still panicking, but Shitty is  _here_  and Jack no longer feels like panicking.

“Okay, brah, you know what to do, right? Follow my lead, you fucker,” Shitty says and he starts to breathe very loudly and Jack tries to follow along.

He slowly opens his eyes and he sees Shitty kneeling next to the bed. The door to the bathroom is open and of course, Shitty is naked, but he is here.

The two of them continue their small breathing exercise and after a while, it feels like the weight has been lifted from Jack’s chest. “Thanks, Shits,” he mumbles.

“No problem, dude,” Shitty says and he smiles -too- brightfully.

“H-how did you-”

“I heard something falling on the ground and I heard some wheezes and I just… I sprung out of bed and I found you here,” Shitty says, “Wanna talk?”

Jack shakes his head.

“Wanna listen to my new Ted talk about transmisogyny and the importance of intersectional feminism?” Shitty then suggests.

Jack nods and Shitty immediately starts his passionate lecture. “Well, like, protect your sisters, not only your cis-ters…”

They both know that Jack isn’t really listening, but it takes their mind off of things. Jack closes his eyes and he finally calms down. Shitty is still holding his hand.

Jack’s never been in love before, but he’s pretty sure a love revelation isn’t supposed to feel like this.

* * *

After Jack calmed down, he came to the realization that it wasn’t the love revelation that put him in that sorry state.

Knowing that he’s in love with Bittle isn’t as bad as he thought.

But the fact that it hit him so abrupt was what kind of made him panic.

How many things will he have to find out about himself, especially now that he is leaving Samwell behind him?

Graduation is kind of scary.

But it is also inevitable, so Jack has to face it.

* * *

Being in love with Eric Richard Bittle is new.

Or at least, it feels new. By now Jack knows that this wasn’t new at all. After Shitty thought it was safe enough to leave Jack alone, Jack got up and he decided to write down everything he knows. He tries to find the exact moment when this started.

_Edgar_ , he thinks bitterly,  _This is all Edgar Morse’s fault._

But after thinking about it a little bit more, that feels wrong.  _This is Ransom’s and Holster’s fault. They brought up Winter Screw in the first place._ But Jack knows that Ransom and Holster have nothing to do with this.

Jack writes more and more and he’s creating a timeline of the past one and a half year. When Jack first met Bitty, he thought he was a nuisance and unfit for the team. When did this stop?

Then Jack remembers the time Bitty got an assist and Jack had realized that Bitty wasn’t there to jeopardize his chances at winning, but that Bitty had this mental block. Jack always made himself think that he did those checking clinics out of pity, because he knew like no other what it was like to have a mental block stopping you from achieving something you want.

But maybe it wasn’t out of pity. Jack and Bitty had gotten closer.

And then he had to act like a dick after the Yale game.

But something had definitely changed after Bitty’s assist. Has he been feeling something for Bitty for over a year?

Jack sighs.

He didn’t even think Bitty was a possibility. He’s dated girls before this, but he’s never been with a boy.

_Kent!_  an annoying voice in the back of his head yells.

_Kent._

But that was nothing. They only hooked up a few times and it was all physical and no feeling. At least, there weren’t any feelings from Jack’s side. Sometimes Jack wonders if Kent felt the same, but the possible answer hurts too much.

So yes, maybe Bitty was an option that Jack didn’t consider.

Jack has heard of bisexuality. After all, he lives in the same Haus with Shitty. The other day Jack overheard a conversation between Shitty and Bitty about the absurd exclusiveness in the LGBTQ community. It wasn’t hard to miss, because at one point the entire Haus could hear Shitty yell: “Bisexuality is real! Like, what do those fuckers think the B stands for? Bicycle? They can shove their bicycles up their backwards asses!”

But all of this was supposed to die away. Jack was supposed to forget about Kent and he was supposed to move on. And if this sexuality and identity  _thing_ was going to surface again, he’d push it away till after the NHL.

This all wasn’t supposed to happen.

He wasn’t supposed to go to college in the first place. He wasn’t supposed to overdose. He wasn’t supposed to fall for a boy. For Bittle.

But life didn’t play out as planned and even though Jack isn’t unhappy, sometimes he still thinks about the what ifs. Jack pushes his notebook away and he rests his head in his hands. He sits in silence for a few minutes before he drags himself back to bed.

_Crisse_ , what the fuck is he going to do?

Why did these feeling have to surface?

Jack is graduating for fuck’s sake and then he’s going to play in the NHL and it might not be close to Samwell. Besides, Bitty probably won’t like him back. Yes, they’ve gotten closer after their farewell at the end of Bitty’s freshman year, but that doesn’t erase the fact that Jack was a fucking asshole to him. Bitty probably won’t forget that.

Jack suddenly feels very tired. Since he’s still in his pajama’s, he doesn’t feel bad for letting himself fall asleep.

He wakes up when he hears a knock on the door. Jack has no idea what time it is since his alarm clock is still in pieces on the floor, but it’s getting dark outside. There’s another knock on the door, but Jack doesn’t get up. It’s not like the Haus is on fire. If they truly need him, they’ll barge in without knocking. Shitty already does that.

Jack can hear footsteps and the person on the other side of the door walks away. Jack lies in bed for a few more minutes before he decides to actually move.

He opens the door and he isn’t surprised to see that there’s no one here, but then he smells something delicious. He looks down and a plate of food is lying in front of his doorstep. There’s a note attached to it and it reads:

_Heard you weren’t feeling well. I hope you like Buckwheat Crêpes. x B_

Jack reads the “ _x B_ ” part over and over again. This is why he loves Bitty.

* * *

_Operation Courting Bittle:_

  * _Don’t_



That is it. That is his plan.

Jack is holding the small note in his hand and he sighs. He is not going to make a move. Jack is about to graduate so he should focus on his final year at Samwell and on the NHL. And the possible rejection hurts too much.

After all, these feelings might fade away. At least, Jack hopes they go away.

He puts the small notes in one of his binders and he goes downstairs. After all, he has lecture and he’s already spent the past two days holed up in his room, trying to figure out what to do. Now that he has a plan, it is time to act it out. It’s easy. He’s just going to stay away from Bitty when they’re off the ice and he’s going to ace his classes.

Of course, his plans never work out.

Bitty is standing in the hallway and it looks like he’s about to go out as well.

“Oh, hi!” he says when he notices Jack.

Shit.

Jack knows that it’s rude to walk away, so he greets Bitty.

“Long time no see,” Bitty says jokingly, “Shitty says that you were brooding in your room.”

“… Ah.”

“All jokes aside, how are you feeling?” Bitty asks and he opens the front door. It is clear that Bitty wants Jack to walk with him and Jack really hopes that Bitty has to a building on the other side of campus.

“Better. Thanks. Uh, also thanks for the food.”

“Oh it was nothing!” Bitty says happily and nope, it looks like Jack has to walk with Bitty for a little bit longer.

So he asks: “Where are you going?”

“Founder’s,” Bitty answers, “I need to get away from the Haus. I want to study but every time I pass the kitchen I am just too tempted to bake. Remember when Holster tried to ban baking for two whole weeks? How atrocious. He was right in his mind to lift that ban immediately.”

Jack passes Founder’s on his way to the history department, so that means that he’s stuck with Bitty for a while. Founder’s at the south of Lake Quad and the history department is at the South Quad.

“Everyone’s just trying to help,” Jack says.

“I know, but I really need to leave the Haus in order to stop this distraction,” Bitty says. Like always, Bitty immediately starts talking about everything Jack’s missed in the past two days and Jack listens to him. There’s something soothing about Bitty’s presence.

Jack is so screwed.

But he has to stick to the plan, so the moment they arrive at Founder’s, Jack interrupts Bitty to tell him. Bitty turns his head in confusion. “Oh, we’re here already? Time flies when you’re having fun, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, I shouldn’t keep you for much longer. You have a lecture to attend,” Bitty says, “Bye Jack. I’ll see you at the Haus.”

“Bye Bittle.”

So screwed.

* * *

Jack throws himself into work. When he’s not on the rink, he’s working on his classes. When he’s not working on his classes, he’s talking to his dad and his agent. Georgia Martin of the Providence Falconers wants him on her team, and Jack is seriously considering it. Georgia, or George, sees past Jack’s history. Several other teams have reached out to him, but Jack knows they are a little bit hesitant. To this day, there are still hockey critics who love to remind everyone of Jack’s OD and that he must be unfit for professional hockey.

But George doesn’t seem to care. Jack can play. He can play extremely well. She also doesn’t care that his father is Bad Bob Zimmermann and neither do the Falconers. They see him, not the version of him that the media has created.

And therefore, he can add all of that on top of everything.

He knew his senior year was going to be busy. It all distracts him of his fear of the future, because what will happen when he doesn’t have school to distract him, and it distracts him from Bitty. Weeks pass and he barely talks to Bitty. Only when they’re on the ice.

And they’re killing it.

Jack isn’t the only busy one. Shitty is studying to get into law school and he’s stressed. If he’s not doing that, then he’s at Lardo’s art studio since he is all for the realization of artistic visions or something. Jack knows he just wants to spend more time with Lardo.

All Lardo’s hard work and Shitty’s help have paid off.

It is time for Lardo’s art show and Jack couldn’t be more proud of two of his closest friends. He looks at himself in the mirror and he fixes his hair. Then he grabs his camera and he is ready to go. He opens the door to the hallway and Bitty’s door opens as well.

“Jack, hi!”

Bitty looks as chipper as always, although this time… wow… Jack’s never seen Bitty look this formal. Bitty dresses well during the banquets, but this is a whole new level and Jack wasn’t prepared for this.

“Are you okay?” Bitty asks and Jack blinks and he gets back to reality. He’s been staring at Bitty the entire time.

“Bittle, you, uhm, you look”  _beautiful_  “great.”

He always tries not to notice Bitty. He doesn’t want to get reminded of how hopelessly in love he is with someone he can’t have. But now he’s standing in front of Jack and he is stunning.

Bitty turns a bit red. “Why, thank you. You look great yourself, mister.”

“I considered a tie or something but I didn’t want to overdo it,” Jack says and then his eyes fall on Bity’s red bowtie, “Uhm, not that wearing a tie is bad. You have a bowtie. You look good. I don’t look good. In ties, that is. I think.”

“Right,” Bitty says and he closes his door and the two make their way downstairs where the others are waiting. As always, Bitty talks. “Don’t worry, Jack. Chowder didn’t even own anything that formal. He has an abundance of Sharks stuff, so I let him borrow one of my blazers. It was a bit oversized, but it fits Chowder perfectly.”

They meet up with the other teammates living in the Haus and they are ready to go.

* * *

“Dude?”

Jack knows that voice. He sighs and says: “How stoned are you right now?”

He turns around and a stoned, shitfaced, naked Shitty is standing in his room. Sometimes it really annoys Jack that their rooms are connected.

“Very. I think. I needed to celebrate,” Shitty says and he grins.

Jack smiles. “Congrats again, man.” He gets up from his chair and he basically jumps on Shitty to hug him.

“Like, Harvard fucking Law,” Shitty says and he has a happy blissful look on his face, “What a day!”

“First Lardo’s successful art show, and now you becoming Elle Woods.”

Shitty immediately pushes Jack away. “Jack, was that-  _was that a fucking pop culture reference?_ An _accurate_ one _?_ Holy shit.”

Jack laughs and Shitty pushes Jack towards his bed. “I saw Legally Blonde and it was good, okay? You’re so Elle Woods.”

“You have no idea how much this means to me. You finally know some pop culture and it is probably one of the most feminist icons in the entertainment media. I’m so fucking proud, brah.”

Jack does feel a bit of pride. The two of them lie down in Jack’s bed and Shitty, who is still very high, keeps talking about Legally Blonde and about Harvard Law school in general and Jack kind of zones out after a while. They’re both doing so good. Jack is going to the NHL and Shitty is going to Harvard. Maybe Jack should reconsider playing in Boston, because the thought of them going their separate ways is a bit scary, but it is part of growing up.

“Shit, I’m so high I feel like I’m on a rollercoaster that only goes up, my friend,” Shitty says.

“I’m in that same rollercoaster, sitting next to you.”

“So you’re good?”

“I’m good,” Jack says and he really is. He hasn’t had a major anxiety attack in quite a time. He is on track with all of his courses, his thesis is almost finished, he still has the C on a successful NCAA hockey team, he is certain that he’s going to the NHL, and his plan of avoiding Bitty is going ‘swawesome.

The two of them lie in silence, basking in the glory of their achievements.

Jack has no idea what time it is but he is falling asleep. Shitty might already be asleep. Soon, they will leave the Haus and start their futures and for once, Jack manages to push away the doubts and fears or once.

Jack is almost asleep when Shitty moves.

“Brah?”

“Hm.”

“I’m scared.”

Jack opens one of his eyes and he sees Shitty looking at him. Shitty does indeed look scared.

“Shits?”

“Like, don’t get me wrong. I am still fucking happy about Harvard, but I’m leaving Samwell. I have to go into the big bad world on my own,” Shitty says. Jack sits up. Guess that this time, Shitty is having the doubts and fears. “And I have to leave Lardo behind.”

“… what has brought this on?”

“Idk, brah,” Shitty shrugs, “I’m still stoned. Maybe that is why.”

“It is a thirty minute drive from Boston to Samwell,” Jack reminds his friend.

“But it won’t be the same, bro. And Lardo…” Shitty takes a deep breath and then he says: “I kissed her.”

Now Jack is fully awake. “What?”

“In the art studio. I had a ‘fuck I’m graduating it is now or never’ moment and I just kissed her, brah. And she kissed me back and I love her. I fucking love her. And now I’m going away. Yeah, I know I’ll be close by. I could’ve gone to the west coast or fuck what, but it won’t be the same.”

Jack puts his arms around Shitty. “Dude.”

“I just- I don’t know. I’ve been in love with her since fucking sophomore year and I feel like I have wasted all this time. I want her. She wants me.”

“Are you two dating now?”

“Uhm. I was going to officially ask her out after her art show, but then I got into Harvard, and when I finally broke free of the group hug, she was gone. And then I got stoned and naked and I kind of forgot about it till now. Jack, school is ending. This is my last chance.”

Jack nods slowly. Shitty has no idea how much Jack can relate to this.

“I don’t want to waste any more time, ya know?” Shitty continues, “I am scared of the future, but if there’s one person who could ground me, it’s her. No offense.”

“None taken.”

“She’s my rock. She’s my everything. As long as she’s next to me, I know I will be fine, no matter what happens.”

Jack thinks about Bitty, who is so close by, but who still feels so far away. It is weird to hear Shitty talk about this. They are in a similar position, but Shitty doesn’t shy away from Lardo. Bitty is just across the hall.

If only.

Jack can feel himself tear up.

“T’s midnight, dude,” Shitty says, “This is my second official day of being a soon-to-be Harvard student.”

“I love Bittle,” Jack says before he can properly think and before he can stop himself.

It is midnight. These things always happen at midnight.

“I know,” Shitty says after a small silence, “I’ve known for a long time. I was afraid you didn’t know.”

“I didn’t,” Jack admits, “Not until you made me realize that I did all those acts out of jealousy. Thank you for that.”

“So you’re gay?”

“Bi?” Jack says, “I don’t know. I liked Camilla, but you know that I was not good with people and relationships. That relationship was kind of awkward.”

“And you don’t want an awkward relationship with Bits?” Shitty asks. He doesn’t comment on Jack not knowing his identity, but Jack knows that Shitty thinks everyone needs to figure it out at their own pace.

“I don’t know what I want,” Jack answers, which is true. On one hand, he wants to feel like Shitty and he wants to just kiss Bitty and ask him out. But on the other hand, he is still afraid he will mess up now that everything in his life is changing.

“Fuck man, you’ll find your place,” Shitty says.

* * *

When Jack wakes up, Shitty is a) wearing pants, which is a shock, and b) standing at Jack’s desk.

“Hey,” Jack says and Shitty jumps in shock.

“Woah, dude, what the hell? You gave me a fright!”

“You already sound like a pretentious law school student.”

“Fuck off, Jack,” Shitty says, “At least I don’t sound like a boring white guy.”

“Is there a difference between pretentious law school student and boring white guy?” Jack says and Shitty looks like he’s about to burst into tears from pride.

“Who are you and what have you done to my Jacques Laurent Zimmermann?” he yells before he jumps on Jack.

The two of them wrestle a little bit for fun and they are laughing so hard that at one point Ransom bangs on Jack’s door to ask them to calm down.

Jack goes to the bathroom to shower and shave and when he gets back, he sees Shitty standing at his desk again.

“Jack, what is this?”

Jack’s eyes widen in shock when he sees that Shitty is holding his  _Operation Courting Bittle_ plan.

“How did you get that?”

“Your school stuff is just lying here on your desk and I saw Bitty’s name and I got curious. I think I’m still a little bit high. Sorry?” Shitty is reading the note again. “Jack, this is kind of pathetic.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“No really,” Shitty says, “What do you mean by ‘Don’t’? You admitted to me that you have been in love with Bitty for weeks, months even, but it looks like you are not going to try. What is this about, you idiot?”

“Let it go, Shits,” Jack says in his ‘captain voice’, as Holster calls it. He turns away and he lies down on his bed. He doesn’t have the energy for this.

But then he feels Shitty’s hand on his shoulder. “You are not getting out of this conversation. Remember the last time you tried to avoid me when I was high?”

Jack groans at the memory.

“Exactemundo,” Shitty says, “Sit up, you fucking beaut. We clearly need to talk about this! Is this why you and Bitty haven’t been talking that much off the ice? Dude.”

Reluctantly, Jack gives in. Shitty makes him seat up and Shitty motions towards Jack to talk.

Jack sighs and he tells Shitty everything. He tells him how he’s afraid Bitty won’t like him back because Jack was such an ass before. He tells him how he wants to focus on hockey instead of love. About the NHL and that he doesn’t want Bitty to be tied down to someone who is so far away. He keeps talking and Shitty nods every now and then.

It actually feels kind of good to finally talk to someone. He hasn’t talked about this with his parents or with his therapist, because he doesn’t want their judgement. But Shitty is not the person who judges, even when he’s clean and sober.

“Jack?”

“Yes?”

“You are such a fucking idiot!” Shitty yells so loudly that Jack’s afraid someone might barge into his room to figure out what is going on.

“Shits, calm down.”

“No, brah, what the flying fuck? You are clearly in love! And yeah I get all your fears and they are completely valid and human. But, like, what did your uncle say? Something about missed shots,” Shitty frowns, “Dude, help me out here, I’m high.”

“’You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take’?” Jack says.

Shitty claps his hands in excitement. “Yes, that one! And it is beautiful. Tell your uncle that he has a beautiful quote and that he is beautiful. And I agree with it. It might not work out, I’m pretty aware of that, but how do you know if you don’t try?”

Jack doesn’t respond to that. Because it wouldn’t hurt to at least figure out if Bitty likes him. And if Bitty doesn’t like Jack, then yes, it will hurt, but Jack will just have to try to go on.

But.

“I was a dick towards him.”

Shitty nods. “Keyword: was. Has he given you any indication that he still thinks you’re a dick?”

“Well, no-”

“Good. Jack, we can do this. We can get the girl or boy. I’m going to woo Lardo and you are going to sweep Bits of his feet.”

Shitty walks towards his desk and he writes something on the little note.

_Operation Courting Bittle:_

  * _~~Don’t~~_
  * **_DO!_**



* * *

According to Shitty, the roadie towards Nationals was the perfect moment for their  _Operation Courting Bittle._ Jack had to disagree, since roadies are always busy and they should all focus on their game, but Shitty doesn’t care.

“Besides, Jack, we all get to grow our playoff beards. Maybe Bitty thinks you’ll look hot with a beard,” he’d said.

That strangely enough motivated Jack. What is Bitty does think Jack looks good with a beard?

There’s only one problem: Jack doesn’t know how to make Bitty notice him. He’s never really put himself out there. Besides, he is still not sure if he’s fully comfortable with their renewed  _Operation Courting Bittle_ plan.

He did date a couple of people, but looking back on them, were they really that serious? With Kent, it was just physical. Ransom and Holster set him up with Kate for Winter Screw in his freshman year and she was sweet, but it was short-lived. Jack had just gotten ‘back to the real world’, as Shitty calls it, and it all went to fast. Samantha was amazing, but then she went abroad for a semester and they broke up because they didn’t want to do long-distance. She’s extended her stay a couple of times and she hasn’t come back yet.

Camilla was probably the most serious one. But Jack was too focused on hockey. When Camilla broke up with him, it didn’t hurt. It felt like an “okay, this was a person I knew” feeling. Jack moved on and only later he realized that he was probably a terrible boyfriend for ignoring Camilla all the time. Hockey came first.

So he hasn’t been that successful in love.

He does not want to mess this up.

The roadie approaches and Jack has already tried to drop subtle hints. He compliments Bitty on his pies more often. He passes the puck towards Bitty during practice all the time. One time, Jack even got Bitty flowers, but he quickly chickened out by telling him it was a routine and he ran towards the flower shop to buy flowers for everyone.

The look on Shitty’s face was rare. Disappointment would be an understatement.

“This roadie, you will impress Bits!” Shitty says the day before the roadie. Jack wonders why they aren’t sharing his room, since Shitty keeps trying to sleep in Jack’s bed the entire time. But he has given up on understanding some parts of Shitty. He just like Shitty as he is.

The Shitty, who goes through Jack’s bag without asking.

“Shits!” Jack yells, but Shitty is already digging. He holds up some clothes.

“Really, brah? This is what you’re taking with you on our roadie?” he asks, “I’m not a fashion guru, but this is just lame. You look like you’re about to rob a Burger King.”

“Maman keeps saying that as well.”

Shitty shakes his head disapprovingly and he walks towards Jack’s closet. “You must have some decent clothes.”

“I do, but those are for more formal moments!” Jack argues.

Shitty walks out of the closet with a pile of clothes. “Now this is impressive. I bet your mother has bought these for you, since you have no style-”

“Fuck you.”

“But they look hella cool.”

Shitty replaces all Jack’s clothes for the roadie and Jack has given up. He cannot argue with Shitty B. Knight.

“Now, Jack, this roadie will be all about Bitty.”

“And winning.”

“Yes, that too, but also Bitty,” Shitty says, “You are going to show Bitty this other more confident side of yourself.”

“More like this other non-existent part of myself,” Jack sighs.

“Bits gotta notice you after this roadie,” Shitty says, “Brah, if by the end of this roadie you and Bitty aren’t together, I’m gonna shave off my mustache.”

Jack snorts. “Shits, are you sure that is worth it?”

“Do it for the mustache, my friend.” He throws a pair of jeans towards Jack. “Put these on tomorrow.”

“Why?”

“It puts more emphasis on that glorious hockey butt of yours.”

“Shitty!”

“No, really. There are Twitter accounts dedicated to your ass. I have to agree with Rans and Holster. You have one fine ass.”

“Merde, Shitty. Get out of here!”

* * *

It is impossible to avoid Eric Richard Bittle on a roadie. Since they’re travelling together, he’s always close by, and Bitty is also very loud and extrovert when he’s feeling comfortable.

Also, he’s brought shorts with him for the roadie and Jack isn’t ashamed to say that he almost had a stroke when he saw Bitty wearing them. Shitty had smiled knowingly.

“See, brah, that is how you make someone notice you, intentionally or not!”

“You think I should walk around in very short shorts as well?” Jack meant it as a joke, but Shitty looked at him with a dead-serious look on his face.

“Jack, you’re beautiful. You can show it off. If I weren’t tied down by my own heterosexuality, I would totally worship that body with my tongue.”

“Thanks?” Jack says.

“No, really, I would sit betwe-”

Jack turns red and he elbows his friend. “Shut up, man.”

“I am dead serious, though,” Shitty says, “Jack, you’re extremely good-looking and you shouldn’t be afraid to show it.”

Shitty is right. Jack is an athlete and he’s always worked out. Sure, his overdose took a toll on his health, both mentally and physically, but ever since his break, he’s been regaining his strength and he is self-confident. Besides, he and Bitty are on the same team and they live in the same Haus. They’ve seen each other.

“Well?” Shitty asks.

Jack nods.

And therefore, during the entire roadie, Jack tries to be more open. He and Bitty don’t share hotel rooms, but during team breakfast and when they’re on the road, Jack tries to show off. It is pretty difficult to make Bitty focus on him when the others on the team are loudly debating about the Team Roaches or Team Attic dilemma.

Honestly, it is kind of frustrating. Why doesn’t Bitty seem to notice him?

Why can’t he look at Jack like he looks at a freshly baked pie? Why does he still look away every time Jack asks him something? Why are Ransom and Holster being so loud about the Team Roaches vs. Team Attic shit?

Jack decides to focus on their game some more.

They arrive at the rink where they will have to play the final and even though Jack is not sure if it’s allowed, he skates. There isn’t anyone who can stop him.

At least he will be able to win Nationals.

“Oh, there you are!”

Jack stops and turns around. Goddamnit. Bitty is looking at him.

“Everyone’s been looking for you forever,” Bitty says. He doesn’t get on the ice because he isn’t wearing skates, but Jack can hear him.

“You guys need me?”

“Yes, but can I talk to you for a minute?” Bitty asks and he pushes his hair out of his face. His stupid perfect cute face. His stupid perfect longer hair that looks very,  _very_  good on him. Jack should stop obsessing over Bitty, but can you blame him?

_God, he is so cute._

“Jack?”

Jack snaps out of his thoughts. “Uh, sure, wait let me just get off the ice.”

Jack is trying to be as graceful as possible, but Bitty’s presence is kind of distracting. He almost trips and Bitty laughs. “Better not be this clumsy during the big game.”

“I will try.”

When they sit down on the benches, Jack notices the look on Bitty’s face.

“Are you okay?”

“I could ask the same for you,” Bitty says, sounding serious, “Did I do something wrong?”

Bitty? Wrongdoing? Those two things don’t add up.

“No?”

Bitty looks down and he’s thinking about what he should say.

“Bittle, why do you think you did something wrong?” Jack asks, “You are amazing. You feed about twenty hungry hockey dudes with your pie magic. You are one of our best players. You are the fastest player! Are you nervous about the game, because so am I. You did nothing wrong. You have shown that you are an excellent player and I am happy that you are on my team.”

“Surprise! This isn’t about hockey.”

“Oh.” Oh. Okay. No hockey. This isn’t about hockey. There’s no hockey.  _Cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool stay cool._ Jack is totally cool with that _._ “Then what is it about?”

“You have been acting so differently around me lately. In the Haus, you were already different, but now that we’re on a roadie, it’s gone to a whole new level,” Bitty tells him.

“And… is that good?”

“It is weird,” Bitty admits, “Did you notice you are different around me?”

_Abort mission. Abort. Abort!_

“No, I didn’t know,” Jack lies smoothly, but initially, he is panicking. Bitty has noticed. But it isn’t good.

A relieved smile appears on Bitty’s face. “Oh, thank the lord. I was afraid I’d done something to make you act this weird.”

“Ha ha.”

“Yeah, silly ol’ me.”

The two sit together and whereas Bitty seems okay again, Jack is low key not so low key freaking out. Bitty did notice him, but not in the way Jack had expected. On the contrary, Bitty didn’t like this new change at all. Oh god. OH GOD.

He is so going to kill Shitty for this.

“Come on, let’s go. The coaches and Lardo still want to talk to everyone,” Bitty gets up and he waits for Jack to follow.

“Yes, sure, of course, okay.”

Jack doesn’t really have the time to kill Shitty for it. They have a game to win.

And when they lose, killing Shitty is not even on Jack’s mind. Nothing excites him. Not even the fact that Bitty is holding him close.

* * *

The loss is hard for everyone.

Jack knows he shouldn’t take it personally, but he’s stuck. When he does take it personally, he tells himself that he’s selfish and that he’s not the only one who’s lost this game, so it shouldn’t be about him. But when he tries to not take it personally, he tells himself that he should, because it is his fault that they lost. He should’ve been a better captain.

He’s been hiding in his room again and the others have given him space.

Not surprisingly, Lardo is the first one to break that.

She slams the door open. “Dude.”

Jack is still lying in bed even though it is late in the afternoon. He looks up and he blinks at the sudden light.

“Lards.”

Lardo turns on the light and she sits on the comfy arm chair in Jack’s room, as if nothing is wrong. “So, Shitty’s got the chop.”

“We all got the chop.”

Lardo snorts. “You aren’t the one to talk. You still have your beard. You look like someone who hasn’t gotten up in days.”

“How funny, Lards,” Jack says, but it does kind of make him smile. This is why he likes his friends. They give him his time, but they also give him the much-needed reality checks. Apparently, time’s up.

“Okay, so, Shitty got the chop, but not in the way you’d expect. Apparently, he made a Skype promise to his mom to cut off his flow.”

“Oh no.”

Lardo grins. “You should see him now. He has the typical white-dude lawyer haircut now. But there’s more! He almost shaved off his mustache!”

“No, he did not!” Jack sits up in shock.

“Almost!” Lardo reassures him, “But I cut his flow and he was talking about how he had to shave off his ‘stache.”

“But his parents have never said anything about his mustache,” Jack says, “Only about his flow.”

“Exactly!” Lardo exclaims, “That’s what I told him. And that is why I’m here. He said, and I quote, ‘I made a fucking promise to shave it off. Fuck Jack.’ I told him I was going to ask you about that. And now I am here, so let me ask you this. Why the fuck did Shitty promise you to shave off his mustache?”

“Shit,” Jack just says and he throws the covers off him. He runs out his room and he quickly goes downstairs.

“Jack!” Lardo yelled after him.

Shitty is sitting on the green couch, talking with Nursey, when he sees Jack.

“Brah, you’re up.”

“And you have lost your flow,” Jack says quickly, “You cannot also lose your mustache.”

Shitty shrugs nonchalantly. “It sucks, but I lost my bet. Now I gotta pay my debts.”

“You can pay your student debts, but not this!” Jack yells, causing the others in the Haus to look at him, “No, I won’t allow it. Your face will look super naked, it is not worth it.”

“Is anyone going to tell us what is going on?” Holster asks.

“Oh, what bet?” Chowder asks happily.

“You need Excel, bros?” Ransom suggests.

Shitty gets up and he puts his arm around Jack. “Look, Jack, m’dude, I lost the bet and I can’t help it. And I don’t want to be that dweeb who backs the fuck out the moment they’ve lost. I will do this humiliating act with pride.”

“No. Extend the bet!”

Shitty’s eyes widen. “Oh, you still think you can fulfill your end of the bet?”

Jack’s eyes move towards the kitchen where Bitty, Ollie, and Wicks are doing homework together. Bitty is looking at him with a puzzled expression on his face. Ollie and Wicks fistbump.

Jack looks back to Shitty and he nods.

“I can do it,” Jack says.

Shitty pats Jack on the back and he laughs. “That is my boy! Put some clothes on and we can talk about the new terms of conditions.”

Oh. Right.

“I just got out of bed,” Jack says, “Forgive me for not wearing anything but my underwear. I was in a bit of a hurry since Lardo told me you were going to shave off your fucking mustache. I needed to set the record straight.”

“Besides, Shitty, you are always naked,” Holster says, “You telling people to put on clothes isn’t really ideal.”

“Whatever man,” Shitty says and Jack laughs, “But anyway, terms and conditions? I’m going to be a lawyer now, so you better give me good deets.”

“Yeah, uhm, let me put on some clothes and I need to shave,” Jack says, “But you will totally draft a contract while I’m gone.”

“Absolutely!”

Jack goes upstairs again. He may or may not have passed the kitchen extra slowly to say hi to Bitty, Ollie, and Wicks. Bitty blushed and Jack saw that as a win.

Satisfied, Jack goes upstairs.

“Wait,” he hears Chowder from the living room, “What fucking bet?”

* * *

Life continues. The loss still weights heavy on Jack, but it is getting better.

Jack can’t change what has happened in the past, but he can let go, and he can change the future instead. He wants to leave Samwell with some dignity and pride.

He goes back to his old routine. With the help of his friends, he tries to figure out which NHL team he wants to join, but he talks with George on a daily basis about signing with the Providence Falconers. He goes to his classes and he studies for his exams.

Jack and Shitty have also drafted a new  _Operation Courting Bittle_.

Jack had told Shitty about his small conversation with Bitty just before Nationals and Shitty had understood. Jack doesn’t need to put himself out there. He just needs to be himself.

“Also, I am not going to shave off my mustache. I bluffed.”

“I knew.”

The last few weeks at Samwell are actually really good and also very busy. He gives Chowder his dibs and Lardo gets Shitty’s dibs. Ransom and Holster are the chosen co-captains, so they will get a fancy A on their jerseys. Jack finally decides on what NHL team he wants to play for and he signs at the Providence Falconers. His parents and George are very happy. The others wanted to throw a small Kegster for him, but Jack had refused.

Jack finally has time to think about Bitty when the oven dies.

Everyone is happy to help and to pitch in. Jack sneaks out of the Haus one day to buy an expensive oven. He doesn’t tell the others, but Jack pays around 60% of it himself.

Together with the others, they plan a surprise party and Bitty is so happy that he keeps hugging Jack. All is well.

Jack is so caught up in everything that he almost forgets that he’s graduating. On the morning of the first day as his last week as a Wellie, Bitty asks him about it.

“Wait, what.”

“Jack, you’re graduating in a week,” Bitty smiles mockingly, “Did you forget?”

Wait.

What.

He unlocks his phone and he sees the date. He’s been so caught up in everything that he almost forgot. He’s been packing, but it hasn’t really hit him yet.

“Yes? Oh God, I am graduating in a week! How could I forget?”

He hadn’t forgotten. But now he realizes what it actually means.

Bitty pulls him in a hug. “It’s okay, it is okay. Everything is going to be fine. You have it figured out. Oh my lord, you’re going to be a Falconer. You can leave Samwell behind.”

Jack knows Bitty is trying to be reassuring, but he is wrong. He will leave Bitty behind. A voice in the back of his head keeps telling him to finally kiss him. God, Jack is graduating. This is his last chance. He has to do this now.

“Bittle.”

“Yes, Jack?”

“I-”

Suddenly, they hear a booming voice from the hallway. “Wake the fuck up people! Cockladoodle motherfucking bitching doo! It is my last week in the Haus and it’s gonna start with a bang!”

“Fucking hell. Stop shouting, Shitty!” Ransom yells.

Bitty pulls back and he laughs. “Oh, Haus sweet Haus!”

Shitty appears in the doorway of the kitchen. “Jack, brah, we’re gradua- Oh, did I interrupt something?”

“Oh no, it’s fine,” Bitty says cheerfully, “I was just chirping Jack here about his new professional hockey career!”

Jack shoots Shitty a stern look and Shitty’s eyes widen. “Oh, uhm…”

“Anyway, just because you two have a week filled with festivities and goodbyes, doesn’t mean the rest of us has it that easy,” Bitty says, “I should head upstairs to get some sensible shoes and then I will do a murder run. And then I should go to Founder’s and ah, busy, busy, busy.”

“Could you bring a pack of breath mints for me?” Shitty asks.

“Of course.”

When Bitty is gone, Shitty turns to Jack. “After last night, Lardo doesn’t want to kiss me again if my breath stinks.”

Jack hits Shitty’s shoulder. “You fucker!”

Shitty grins. “Yeah man, I kissed her again and this time, I told her how I feel. Are we dating now? I guess we are. Now, it is time for you, my friend.”

“First off all, congratulations,” Jack says, “Second of all, I was going to tell him, but then you had to yell like that.”

“Grab a non-alcoholic drink and come to the reading room with me, brah,” Shitty says, “You still have a week.”

Jack doesn’t protest because he loves the reading room of the Haus. Besides, a grumpy Holster has entered the kitchen and he and Shitty need some peace.

“Basically, I was this close to telling Bittle, but then you decided to wake up the entire Haus,” Jack says, “So thanks a lot for that, man. I am considering throwing you off the roof.”

Shitty snorts. “You don’t have the guts to do that. And you still have a week.”

Jack takes a sip of his drink and he sighs. He watches Bittle leave the Haus for his murder run. “Maybe I should just give up, Shits.”

Shitty has a stern look on his face and he shakes his head. “Oh, no, no way Jack. You’re not going to get cold feet a few days before graduation. I know I won’t shave off my mustache, but what the hell? We have a bet.”

“But that is the thing, Shits. It is a few days before graduation and then I’ll be in Providence. And there will be roadies. I don’t want Bittle to be with someone who can’t be with him all the time.”

Shitty is looking at him as if he’s an alien. “Dude. I thought we went through all of this?”

“Shits, stop pushing me,” Jack says, a little bit annoyed, “Have you even considered these things?”

“Yeah, man, I have,” Shitty says, “And forgive me for saying this, but sometimes you need a fucking push. Remember your old  _Operation Courting Bittle_? Your only plan was ‘Don’t’. Are you seriously going back to the old  _Operation Courting Bittle_ , a fucking week before graduation?”

Jack doesn’t reply.

“Jack, dude! Look, I know I can’t force you, so I won’t, but fuck man, your emotional IQ has always been lower than your IQ. You’ve gotten better with emotions and shit, but you deserve happiness. You know that right?”

“Shit. I know, but I just don’t always know how to be happy,” Jack sighs.

“Bitchin’, Jack,” Shitty pats him on the back, but then he almost jumps on Jack to hug him.

They sit in comfortable silence. Jack loves the reading room. He goes there quite often when the weather is decent enough and being here with Shitty on his last week as a Wellie feels good. Jack is still a bit conflicted about Bitty. He just wishes he could understand what he’s feeling. One moment, he is so sure he’s going to kiss Bittle, but the next moment, he reconsiders it.

He can understand why Shitty thinks it is tiring.

Sometimes Jack wishes he could turn off his brain so that he could stop thinking.

“Kiss Bittle, m’dude,” Shitty says quietly.

“But what if he doesn’t want me to?” Jack asks.

“If you lean in to kiss him, and he pulls back or he shows any other sign of disinterest, don’t kiss him,” Shitty says, “Don’t kiss someone without their consent, brah. But honestly, I don’t think Bittle doesn’t want you to kiss him.”

“Really?”

Shitty nods. “Yeah, man. Have you ever seen the look on his face? Probably not, because he always hides it when you turn around, but man. Heart eyes, motherfucker.”

“But graduation.”

“… Jack, I swear to God. Maybe  _I_ should throw  _you_ off this roof.”

They sit for a little bit longer until Lardo appears at the Haus. She’s standing in the front garden, looking up at them.

“Sup,” she says simply before entering the Haus and Shitty jumps up on shock.

“She’s already here!” he yells, “But Bitty hasn’t brought my breath mints yet. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu. I’m not even dressed.”

“I’m pretty sure she won’t mind  _that_ ,” Jack says and he grins.

Shitty playfully hits him over the head. “Guess who’s also arriving?”

Bitty is walking towards the Haus and he’s carrying two shopping bags. Jack isn’t surprised to see that Bitty is on his phone and he smiles.

Kissing Bittle.

Okay.

Jack can do that. Hopefully.

Probably not.

No.

Definitely not.

He can’t do it.

* * *

“Hey Jack!”

Jack turns around in shock.

Jack was so focused on Class Day that he didn’t notice John Johnson sitting in the Haus kitchen. He quickly recovers.

“Johnson, how on Earth did you get here?” he asks and he gives Johnson a pat on the back. He and Johnson weren’t that close, since Jack always had problems following his existential crisis and his so-called fourth wall break, but they were teammates and Jack likes him.

Johnson shrugs. “Bitty tweeted about me being here in canon, which is convenient for this current AU, so now I am here in this story.”

“Right,” Jack just says, “What are you doing here?”

“Narration purposes as well, so that the story can keep moving,” he answers, “And I’m here to see my friends.”

“Okay, I am just going to make some coffee,” Jack says. He kind of wants to ask Johnson what he’s been doing in the past year, but he also doesn’t want to have an existential crisis as well.

“Bits has already made some,” Johnson says, “Read his tweets, man, they provide so much extra content to the comic.”

“Bittle only tweets about all the weird shenanigans that happen around here,” Jack says and he isn’t surprised to see that Johnson is right about the coffee. He pours himself a cup and he sits at the kitchen table.

“Exactly,” Johnson says, “Now, how’ve you been?”

“Busy,” Jack says and without thinking, he tells Johnson about his senior year and the NHL and all the stress that came with that. Johnson never judges. Outside of the small group of people that Jack trusts, Johnson is one of the only people he can talk to. At Jack’s very first day at Samwell, Johnson had welcomed him, telling Jack that he knew that he was coming and that he ‘knew what to do’, and then Johnson introduced Jack to Shitty.

Johnson is weird, but he is a great guy.

While listening, Johnson nods every now and then. When Jack finishes talking, Johnson clears his throat and says: “Yes, okay, I already knew all of that. But my question is: when are you going to kiss Bittle?”

Jack’s eyes widen in shock. “Bittle? Huh, what do you- why would I… I… kiss Bittle? Why?” he chokes out.

Johnson looks at him with a serious look on his face and Jack looks around to see if anyone’s possibly listening along.

“We have the Haus for ourselves, Jack,” he says.

Jack sighs and he smiles sadly. “I don’t think I’m going to kiss Bittle, Johnson. How did you even know that I, well, you know?”

“I know things, Jack,” Johnson answers, “I know things you still have to figure out. And sure, those things are for you to explore and figure out, but that doesn’t mean I can give a little push, right? And I want my friends to be happy.”

“So you know my sexuality?” Jack says jokingly, since Jack himself doesn’t even know that one.

“Yes,” Johnson says, “I know you don’t know yet, and that is totally okay. Everyone has their own pace. I won’t tell you, since that is so fucking personal, and it sounds like I will be telling you how to feel. But yes, I know. But really, how about kissing Bittle?”

“Like I said, I’m not going to kiss Bittle. I’m graduating and I am too late because these conflicting feelings kept preventing me from actually kissing Bittle,” Jack tells Johnson, who gestures at him to continue, “I know it is stupid, but I just can’t do it.”

“You have till after graduation,” Johnson says and he gets up, “Now, this has been nice, but I need to randomly disappear so that this ‘scene’ of the story can end.”

“What?”

Johnson stops in the doorway. “You are going to be so fucking happy, Jack,” he says and he smiles, “Just you wait.”

* * *

It isn’t exactly midnight, but it is late.

Tomorrow, Jack graduates.

He is standing in front of Bitty’s room. All he has to do is knock and tell Bitty how he feels. One last midnight confession at Samwell.

But he can’t.

He is graduation tomorrow and who knows what will happen then.

Jack sighs and he goes back to his room.

* * *

His bags are packed. Most of his stuff has already been shipped to Providence and some of the Falconers, his new teammates, are making sure it will arrive safely. Chowder’s belongings are already in the room, together with a couple of boxes of Sharks merch bought by Jack.

They have breakfast in the Haus and Lardo, Bitty, and Dex have outdone themselves with the cooking. Jack and Shitty are graduation.

Shitty kisses Lardo’s cheek and he willingly pays the fine. Everyone is happy.

His parents and a lot of other hockey legends arrive at the Haus’s doorstep, causing several boys to pale. Then they all go their separate ways so that they could get ready for the actual graduation.

A few hours later, Jack is officially a Samwell alumnus. Shitty is crying on his shoulder.

“Fuck dude, I don’t want my uptight fam to see me like this so let me cry real quick,” he says and Jack shakes his head in disgust when Shitty uses Jack’s robes to wipe his nose.

“It’s over,” Jack says.

Shitty bursts into another round of tears. “It is. Fuck, we’re officially done with Samwell. Look at this shit,” he points towards his graduation robes, “We’re fucking alums. I am glad that you are here beside me, as my best friend and as an honorary brother.”

“Just honorary?” Jack says, “Because I see you as my real brother.”

“Oh motherfucking fuckity fuck, Jack,” Shitty says and he wipes away his tears in vain, because he keeps crying. Jack can’t blame him. When Jack pulls his friend into a hug, he can feel himself tear up as well.

Shitty’s phone buzzes. “I guess that is the famalam. We’re all going out for lunch and I’m going to officially introduce Lardo as my girlfriend. I can’t wait for her to verbally murder my more racist relatives.”

“Oh, she’s gonna love that.”

“I gotta go before I start to cry again,” Shitty says and he takes a step back, “I’ll see you around, Zimmermann, this is not an ending. This is only the beginning.”

Jack nods.

Shitty looks at something behind Jack. “Maybe it is the beginning of an epic love story.”

Jack turns around and he sees Bitty standing in the middle of the field, close to his mom and George, looking at his phone. He is probably tweeting. When Jack faces Shitty again, Shitty winks. Then he leaves for his family.

Jack takes a deep breath and he walks towards Bitty. At least, he needs to say goodbye.

“You’re still hanging around?” Jack asks and Bitty looks up, “Or didn’t we post enough ‘selfies’?”

They talk a little bit about what they’re going to do next. Bitty is going to Georgia for summer break and Jack, his parents, and George are also going out for lunch.

Suddenly, Bitty is hugging Jack tightly. “Bye Jack,” he says softly.

“Bye Bittle. It’s been great playing with you.”

“I-I guess the next time I’ll see you will be on TV, huh!” Bitty says and he fixes Jack’s tie.

“What? Bittle, I’ll drive up before the season starts,” Jack says, because honestly, does Bitty really think Jack won’t look back?

“Oh, of course,” Bitty says quietly and he laughs, “Well, you get on outta here before you make me late for my flight!”

“Hah. See you, Bittle.”

_It’s for the best_ , Jack thinks.

But then he watches Bitty leave and Jack sees that something is wrong. Bitty is hunched over and he’s hiding his face. He runs away.

Jack looks around. Ransom and Holster are already on the road and Shitty and Lardo have left as well. His mother has an alum thing, so Jack has some time to kill.

Of course, he isn’t completely alone.

“Sup, dude,” Johnson says.

“Hey.”

“Congrats on your graduation. I know my feelings are written down for me, but I am genuinely proud of you and Shits,” Johnson says.

“Thanks. Aren’t you heading out?”

“Probably, but I still need to be here for narration purposes a little bit longer,” Johnson answers, “Where did Bitty go?”

“He has a plane to catch, but he is going to the Haus first.”

Johnson nods. “You don’t want to kiss him, right?”

“Johnson, we’ve talked about this.”

“I know, but tell me Jack, what are you thinking right now? Do you think Bitty looked happy?”

Jack remembers the hunched shoulders and how quickly Bitty ran away. He did not look happy at all. “No. He looked rather sad.”

“You’re holding your tie,” Johnson points out.

“Well…”

“I know you’re afraid, man, which is understandable. But maybe you don’t need to be with him right now if that’s not what you want. But don’t you think that telling him at least would give you some peace?”

Jack doesn’t know what to say to that. Johnson is right in a way. These feelings for Bitty have been on his mind so often that it almost feels like they’re weighing him down. Jack doesn’t know much about love, but love isn’t supposed to be a burden and he doesn’t want it to be a burden.

“I’m heading out because I need to go back to my metaphorical apartment. See you, Jack.”

“Yeah, bye.”

Jack stays at the Quad. He fumbles with his tie. Bitty has fixed it. Bitty even picked it for him, because he liked the colour.

A couple of minutes later, he feels a hand on his shoulder.

“These alumni things get longer every year! Ready to head back to the hotel?” his dad asks.

“Yeah, let’s go,” Jack says.

But his father doesn’t move.

«No, you’re not.»

«I really am ready, dad.»

But his father shakes his head. «I know you, Jack. I don’t know why you’re not ready, but something is keeping you at Samwell.»

Jack sighs.

Bittle.

Maybe Johnson was right. Jack isn’t going to kiss him, but maybe he can at least tell him.

«You won’t be back here for a while, son. Go say goodbye, if that is what you need. Leave Samwell feeling content.»

«What do you mean?»

«If that’s what your heart is telling you, you should go. Go really say goodbye.»

Jack thinks about Bitty again. Bitty is holding him back.

He hears the carillonneurs of Founder’s playing in the back. This is Samwell. This was the place that made him feel at home. He isn’t going to leave it behind like this.

He is going to do it.

Jack turns to his dad, who smiles knowingly. «Uh, I’ll be right back!»

He runs as fast as he can. Jack just hopes that Bitty is still in the Haus. When he’s in the Haus, he takes two steps at the time and he yells: “Bittle!”

The room is empty.

Bitty can’t be gone.

Then Jack hears a sniff.

Bitty is standing in Jack’s old room, folding Chowder’s clothes. He has his earbuds in and he is singing along to that song that isn’t originally Justin Beiber’s. Jack now knows that Beyoncé sings it. Bitty has made sure of that.

Bitty is always so excited about the things he likes. It always makes Jack smile.

_Okay. I need to do this._

“I can feel your-“

“Bittle.”

“HELLO!” Bitty yells in shock and he takes out an earbud, “Hello! Jack? Oh my goodness- why are- is everything all right? You’re outta breath! You could’ve texted-“

“Bitty.”

It’s now or never.

“Yes?”

“I need to tell you something,” Jack says, “I don’t- you can do whatever you want with it. I know it’s not midnight, I just need you to know.”  _Okay. Here goes._ “I’m in love with you.”

Bitty’s eyes widen. He can’t even hide his shock.

“And I know the timing is so bad, but I am in love with you. I have been in love with you for ages, and I’m stupid enough to ignore it for too long. And now I might be too late, but I have accepted that. These past few months I’ve felt stuck between telling you and not telling you and I was planning on not telling you, but I can’t keep this inside any longer.”

“Jack-”

“I’m in love with you,” Jack says again, “I might have no idea what I am doing. Despite what Shitty and Johnson said, I was so sure that I wasn’t going to tell you after all, especially now that I am going away, but I do know that I love you. At the beginning of the year, you described to me what love is, and I feel that way about you. When I am with you, I feel like I’m in a state of bliss. With Edgar and rugby guy I acted rude out of jealousy. I tried to make you notice me and I felt like crying when I have the feeling it didn’t work, so I stopped trying to go after you. But, I want to kiss you. I want to take you out for cute dates. And I am sorry that I am bombarding you with this… I thought that these feelings might go away, but I know they won’t.”

When Bitty doesn’t speak, Jack sighs.

“Like I said, I am not expecting you to do anything with this. I wanted you to know, that’s all,” he says, “Well, uhm, bye Bittle.”

Jack forces himself to walk away. He doesn’t want to see Bitty’s face.

“Wait!”

Oh god, he doesn’t want to cry. He is not going to cry.

Bitty grabs his elbow. “Jack… please, don’t go.”

“I’m sorry. I know you don’t like me, and that is okay-”

“Oh my God, could you stop talking for a second?” Bitty sighs in frustration, “I was talking about you! After Winter Screw, when I was talking about being in love with someone else- I was talking about you.”

Jack turns around. “What?”

“Remember?” Bitty says, “I told you I couldn’t go out with Edgar because I was in love with another guy. You are that guy, Jack. I never said anything because I thought you were straight. God, we’re so stupid! I am in love with you too.”

“Oh my god.”

Bittle is in love with him.  _Bittle_  is in love with  _him_. He’s been in love with him for almost the entire year. “Are you-“

Bitty nods before Jack can finish his question. “Yes.”

And suddenly, it feels like a huge weight has been lifted from his shoulders. They love each other. Jack smiles widely and he takes Bitty’s hand.

“Then you wouldn’t mind if I kiss you?”

“Oh, you idiot,” Bitty says and before Jack has the chance to lean forward, Bitty is pressing his lips against Jack’s.

Jack’s phone buzzes, but he keeps kissing Bittle.

When it buzzes again, Bitty pulls back. He is blushing.

“God, I’ve wanted this for so long,” Bitty says happily.

“Me too,” Jack says, “So, what does this mean for us?”

“What do you mean?”

Another buzz. Jack ignores it.

“I just graduated. I am moving away,” Jack says, “I am in the NHL and I know I am not playing on the west coast, but there will be roadies and everything.” He groans. “God, we wasted so much time.”

“We did,” Bitty playfully rolls his eyes. “But now, I finally got you. I am not letting you go, Mr. Zimmermann.”

This time, someone calls Jack. Jack shakes his head and he ignores it. He might get in trouble later, but he and Bitty need to have this conversation.

“Do you want to be with me?” Bitty asks.

“Yes,” Jack answers without hesitation.

“I want to be with you. We can make it work,” Bitty says, “I want this to work. Do you?”

Yes. Jack wants this to work. He desperately wants this to work.

Bitty is looking at him, waiting for an answer, and it feels like everything might actually work out. For so long, Jack was convinced that it wasn’t going to work and that it was too late because of graduation. But Shitty was right. This wasn’t an ending. This is a beginning.

“Yes. I want this. I want you.”

Bitty smiles and he kisses Jack again. Better late than never.


End file.
